The Free Bitches of Free Free Free is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Mary Juana with a fair hand, and remarkable for its multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, devotion to social welfare, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, devout population of 2.551 billion Free Bitches are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, liberal, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Among Sus. The average income tax rate is 81.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Free Free Freean economy, worth 182 trillion no monies a year, is highly specialized and dominated by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 71,388 no monies, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Bored politicians often entertain themselves with games of Simon during important votes, cyclists spend more time unlocking their bicycles than they do cycling, nouveau riche farmers diligently take care of their golden calf herds, and sales of pregnancy testing kits are booming. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Free Free Free's national animal is the amogus, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is THC.

Free Free Free is ranked 10,054^th in the world and 19^th in Philosophers for Safest, scoring 121.22 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.